Tuesday, 11 September 2012

TO TEAR OR TO BUILD


I love the part that says ‘and if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them’. I believe that one of the greatest ways we can hurt people is through our words.

‘You are stupid’. ‘Hopeless child’. ‘Coconut head’. ‘I hate you’. You dey mad’. ‘Why are you smiling like a burnt goat?’. Words, they really hurt if used inappropriately. Like a tattoo needle; the hurt, the pain, the ‘ugliness’ lingers for a long time.

The bible says ‘death and life are in the power of the tongue.’  How do you wield that power? Do you speak life or death? Do you tear down or build up?

Some years back, I worked with a lady who in my opinion was really kind but sometimes, she takes things to the extreme, let’s call her Mrs. Z. I was returning from lunch one day and met one of the drivers of the company where I used to work. I hadn’t seen him in a long time as he was ill and I stopped to chat with him. Mrs. Z saw us chatting and walked away. Later in the day, she came to my office and in her most-sarcastic-tone-ever; she said ‘Young lady, you have class. You shouldn’t be seen chatting with a driver.’ I don’t know why she said that but I rebuffed her respectfully, the only way I can. The driver is still my friend and I chat with him even after I've left. As for Mrs. Z, she was sacked from the company while I was still there, and I wonder what her ‘class’ level is? :(

Yesterday, I went to a friend’s office just across the street for lunch. I was at the reception when a lady came into the office screaming at the office assistant who was cleaning the floor. I sat there trying to be invisible and scared for the poor guy who looked like he’d been struck by a rock. The woman went on and on and said something which stuck. She said, ‘You will never amount to anything, besides go take a bath, you smell like ‘leaky toilet’. :(

Bricks and stones may break a bone, but words, they kill the spirit.
Yes, she hurt you; do you have to resort to insults?

Remember, you can’t take it back. It’s been ingrained already in the mind of the person you are insulting. And they might not forgive you.

It’s your tongue, your words, your decision, your choice. It’s up to you. But, I wish that, the next time you decide to say something to someone, you would resolute that you won't hurt their feelings. Give feedbacks but don’t be judgmental.

When you are angry, don’t let your ‘mouth’ run faster than your thoughts. Stop the emotional wounds.

Remember, help others and if you can’t, don’t hurt them with your ‘tongue’, with your words...

How are you doing today?
Thank you so much for reading. Hugs J