In the land of English

Hello,

How was your night?

Feeling a little chirpy today. Super glad it's Friday :D....U?

Just want to share this picture with you, though it's kind of random...

Can imagine my English teacher saying that "Punctuation saves lives" (She was really thorough back then, I wonder where she is now) .

What do you think about the picture?

Wishing you an amazing weekend.

Hugs....

'LOVE IN THE AIR'

Hello :)
Super excited to have written this article/story for one of my fave news letters in the world 'BG Parrot'. I'm privileged to write in the 'diary of corporate Naija Column of the Newsletter and I wrote this article way back. Hopefully you like it too!!!

LOVE IN THE AIR- By yours truly
Hey everyone, so if you follow Diaries of Corporate Naija you will remember from the last post that I was questioning the safety of our transport system in Nigeria and how it affects us. Well, my 'talk talk' has sha put me inside plenty wahala...Oga sent me to Abuja... (Who am I to say no?)
I will never forget that Saturday morning, scariest day of my life. I started fasting from Thursday and made sure I obeyed all the 10 commandments during the week, was extra nice even to my most difficult colleague (who knew if that would be the last time he pissed me off?!).

I heard the boarding call to board flight 7096. With shaky legs, I climbed the boarding stairs of the airplane, my heart pounding like D'banj's Oliver Twist beat and I nodded absently at the rehearsed welcome from the pretty flight attendant as she ushered me into the narrow body plane. I hesitated trying to locate my seat number, A9. I walked over and saw to my joy it was a window seat and it was also close to one of the emergency doors (Yay!) as I placed my hold all in the compartment I was rudely shoved aside and lo and behold, this fat sweaty man lowered himself into my seat! I closed the compartment and swallowed my irritation, “sir that's my seat” I said politely, I still had heaven on my mind; he looked at me up and down with disdain  then hissed and turned away. I felt anger rise within me, for a moment I forgot about the fear of dying, “Sir, I said—” he rudely cut me off, “listen young lady just pick any seat, we are not in primary school” as I made to answer him the flight attendant at the entrance approached us and asked if there was any problem, people were beginning to stare, I swallowed hard and explained that the man was on my seat, she checked my boarding pass to confirm, nodded and then shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, “actually you can sit anywhere, ma, but since he took your seat, you could take his” she said giving me a fake toothy smile, I smiled back not wanting to be a trouble maker and agreed to take his seat which turned out to be at the rear of the plane, C23. I sighed heavily as I removed my hold all from the compartment and trudged to
the back, I repeated putting the hold all up again and sat down angry and hating the dreaded trip more, “Excuse me” I heard a well modulated voice say, I turned to look up and I was staring at the bluest eyes I've ever seen, “seems I'm seated next to you!” he said again, I opened my mouth and with a smile that was showing my thirty-two and said, “sure!” I didn't trust myself to say more. Mentally I thanked Jehovah for the turn of events, as he eased into the chair next to me, he smelt like fresh rain, menthol and new money, I inhaled deeply, already picking out baby names, I always liked the name Barnaby, I thought as we smiled at each other. Chai, my spirit come dey dance Azonto, at least, if I go die, na with this sexy guy…
Oga thank you for this trip o, I thought as I remembered the bible passage that says 'In every situation thank the Lord'. I thank God for everything especially for the fat sweaty man, abi nah?
Originally, I had planned to listen to music or finish the Robert Ludlum book I started reading but with the guy beside me, plane crash and bucket list were fast fading from my mind…
I started to think of how to start a conversation with him, after all, I'm a bold, independent, Corporate Naija girl. “Hi, I'm Jay”, I said. “My name is Reality”
Reality? Which kain name be that one? Abi na me no hear him phonetics?
“Nice to meet you”, I replied, “Can I see the book you are reading please?” He showed me the book which coincidentally was the same book I had in my bag...A match made in heaven, I thought to myself. Ok, maybe I will forgive the name after all, perfection is just an illusion, abi…'Wow, I love this book' I said, 'It's really intriguing and I love it's adaptation on—”And then, the plane jerked...


Independent Naija girls shouldn't be scared abi, even Beyonce said 'we run the world'. Person wey run the world supposed fear? (But fear na person wey no get face ooo). My
heart was racing as I tried to process the scattered thoughts in my head while trying to avoid spilling orange juice on my skirt. What if the plane crash? What will my family and my colleagues, the 'O angels' do? Anyways, Reality started talking about his childhood, how he failed math in Secondary school and how he plans to tour the world and blah blah. But, at that point, sponge wey dey for water better pass my brain. All I
wanted was some peace and listen to some Christian music as I fly through the valley of the shadow of death. But that guy sabi talk sha. He dey talk him 'reality' too much.
Seriously! Anyways, I managed to look on in interest as he kept on talking, smiling and nodding while trying to remember what my immediate boss taught us on 'the art of
listening in the QMS training'. And then he said, in his ever oh-so-cool voice “I like you. You seem smart. Can we be friends with benefit?”
Ehn, my head starts to ring, “Are you serious?” I said. He replied, “We are both matured people” Ah!!! I looked at my original seat, the 'orobo man' was already snoring, his head on the shoulder of a woman who had given up hope of pushing him away. I rather sit here than with that man (I can imagine saliva on my purple shirt. Yuck!!!). Reality kept staring at my face and I could hear my oga say “Guys are
useless!!! You girls start praying now to get a good guy”. You are on point oga. This particular guy is useless, if not, how someone can be so upfront about his intention (What effrontery! That's the only word I could remember)...Anyways, omo boy kept on proclaiming his love and all I could do was smile while wishing I was more fortunate in love. Love in the air indeed!!!
I heaved a sigh of relief as the plane landed and couldn't wait to jump down from it and sue the airline (maybe.)...Anyways, Mr. Seat partner wanted my bb pin/ number and kept bugging me for it till we got to the airport arrival terminal. All my rebuff techniques didn't work. I didn't want to be rude either. While waiting to pick my bag, I heard excited shouts of “daddy, daddy!” behind me. I turned to see Mr. Reality holding two kids that appeared to be 5 and 7 years old. A dark, heavyset woman wearing a colorful bubu joined in the embrace while pecking him. He ushered them to my side
and said, “Jay, meet my lovely wife Tito and my boys, Kufre and Chicco”.

Chai, love in the air indeed.

Lol!!!!

image source:twitterwatchdog.com

Ps: If you are in Akure, please visit my friends TedX event. Please...http://www.tedxakure.com/

Have an amazing weekend. Don't fall in love stupidly too ooo....

Thanks a lot for reading. Talk soon :)

2 funny pictures and a quote

Happy Holiday :),

Today's post is aptly titled: 2 funny pictures and a quote. Yes, 2 funny pictures to make you laugh and a quote to make you think. Hope you like them :)

What would you do if your feet had eyes? Would you scare it?

Do you still pee? LOL

What do you think of the pictures? Yuck!!! but you smiled a lil right? 

While you are thinking, please, give a thought to this quote by Ted Hughes:

'The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn't live boldly enough, that they didn't invest enough heart, didn't love enough. Nothing else really counts at all. '

Enjoy your holiday. Be happy, Be creative and Be bold. Like grandma says, 'Do not let anyone control the remote to your life'

Thanks for reading :) Hugs!!!!

NEW AGE WORD

Hi Everyone,

With the advent of technology, the world has become a global village where in we are back-door neighbors sharing our insights on other peoples thoughts, opinions and lives. Our cyber connections have proved to be soldiers fighting for our needs, and a library where we boost our brain capacity.

We've also been introduced to new words which in my opinion might revolutionize the whole literally planet.

Once upon a time, we used words like; thou, thee, art, etc
Today, we say: The, are, their, search, labels, etc
In the future, we might start replacing 'The' with 'D', 'their' with 'dir', 'Can' with 'cn', 'That' with 'dt', etc...

My friends elder sister scored low on her test score (3/20) because, as her lecturer puts it, 'incorrect spelling'. Every 'You' in her sentence was spelled as 'U'. 

In our world of today, the use of acronyms are the best form of communication and smileys depicts our feeling. 

I was listening to a group of teenagers yesterday and one of them said (Literally) 'Lol. Bart hates her. Sighs.'

Art gotten from zcool.com.cn

Welcome to the new age word where words like LOL, LMAO, FYI, ASAP, LLNP, etc dominates us.

In my opinion, the world is changing. We once spoke in a certain way during the 'Shakespearean era', who says our current way of speaking won't be phased out as well?
Just saying...

What's your thoughts on this?

Thanks a billion for reading. Hugs!!!!!!!!

The AK-47 and Mr. Ape...

Good Morning Dear,

Just a funny video to make us laugh after a 'beautiful' yesterday...

Lesson Learnt: Never underestimate the weak as well as your opponent...

Please, share your funny videos with me...Pleaseeee...

Thanks a lot for reading. Bear hugs.

GRATEFUL

My favorite picture of the day....

One word: Be grateful...Some people aren't as lucky as you.

Have an awesome day...

Carly Rae Jepsen- Call me maybe

Thanks a lot for reading :)

ECLIPSE MEMO

Hi Everyone,
I learnt about the 'art of listening' yesterday. A collegue of mine sent this 'MEMO' Story to me. It's funny...Please read, and tell me who was at fault.

Memo from Director General to Manager:

Today at 11 o’clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information.
Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.

Memo form Manager to Department Head:

Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles. The Director General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.

Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:

The Director General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse. This is something that cannot be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.

Memo from Floor Manager to Supervisor:

Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director General will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn’t happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.

Memo from Supervisor to staff:

Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director General disappear. It is a pity this doesn’t happen every day.

What do you think?

Drive by- Train

Have a great day...

And please listen attentively together. Hugs.

Thanks a lot for reading :)

Welcome to the PC Age (Funny Picture)

Just imagine childbirth this way...You like???


Oh!!! what a funny world...


Hugs...

Talentico...

In an attempt to cheer me up yesterday, my friend sent this link to me. http://t.co/N7YKBRSK
Heads up, it's the video of one of the most talented people I've ever seen...It's tres hilarious...
I think I need to take dance lessons from him.


PS: Shakira if you ever read this, trust me when I say you need this guy in your team...


Me loved this video, watched it a billion times yesterday. Couldn't stop laughing...


OK, enough said. Just watch it..Lol


Have an awesome weekend. Don't forget to include God in your plans ooo.

Hugs...


Mwahhhh....

SMARTER THAN A SCORPION!!!

Ok, so was bored this morning (came in earlier than usual) and decided to take some pics...

Me and my big head....ha!

Not so clear, right? but i like it...

That's not all the pics...you will see them later joor...

Got bored with taking pictures and then I decided to check what fun facts are out there, and you won't believe what I found out...

• If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
• The strongest muscle in proportion to its size in the human body is the tongue. (I knew that)
• Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour (but seriously, why would you band your head???)
• It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs (Obviously, they are stubborn...)
• Dogs have four toes on their hind feet, and five on their front feet.(That's new...I don't have a dog)
• The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (That tiny thing!!!)
• Butterflies taste with their feet.

• Elephants are the only mamals that can't jump. (They are heavy nah!!!)
• Polar bears are left handed.(Really)
• A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
• An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.
• Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating

• No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple. (A challenge for the poets)
• It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth.Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again. (YUCK!!!)
• Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.(Wish I could do that) 
• The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.
• You cannot sneeze with your eyes open.
• Every 2,000 frowns creates one wrinkle.(Please smile)
• If you drop a liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

See, you are a lot smarter than a scorpion..~Big grin~


Have an awesome day...

Mwahhhh....

MY attempt at POETRY...

Today is poetry day and I have an original I want to share (Please don’t laugh)... But before I do that, I want to tell you about Froggy four eyes. She’s really good at poetry. I’ve read some of her original and she’s one to look out for. Still don’t know why she doesn’t want to show case her stuff in bogo biri- The beautiful African bar in Ikoyi where people with different talents showcase their stuff. I remember going there with Hellene and Azeezat; we watched several performances ranging from poetry  to music, spoken words, guitar playing, etc. People are really good. One guy did spoken words for his wife, tres romantic (I wish I was in her shoes. It was beautiful. Mike, where art thou???).

Well, it’s been long since I’ve been there so I’m honing my poetic skills for next time. Who knows, I might not get booed...Hahahahaha

So today, I’m going to attempt writing one (Already hearing my sister’s laughing at me)...

Here we go; BURN FIRE; AN ORIGINAL BY YOURS TRULY

Burn, burn fire burn

Says the maid as she twist and turn

Aiming for the blue flame

While minding the eye pain

Red flame, yellow flame and black sooth

She tries to evade while thinking of her brown flute

Aha, here is the blue flame

At least there is no more pain

She says, now I can try out my new notes

While my flame boils the oats.

So, how did I do??? not futile i guess...(HA HAHA HA)

Have a great day...

Mwahhh

~ FOR THE YOUNG AT HEART ~

I remember coming home from one of our famous excursions organised by my primary school to a pink box of story books. I was so glad and couldn’t wait to start reading and drawing the pictures in them (I loved the seven dwarfs and I’m sure you will marvel at the pictures I have of Sneezy and Happy). It was a cherished treasure even though I can’t find them now.

These treasures, otherwise called cartoons have always been a part of me and my family (Except for mom). From the Snow white days (Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is cutest of them all? Yup, me ~Ha~), to Cinderella (We all wish to be her), Rapunzel (My hair isn’t as long ~sad~), sleeping beauty, beauty and the beast, little mermaid, Tom and Jerry and the Walt Disney crew.

Well, papa usually bought such books for us to improve on our reading habits and vocabulary (uhmm, i think to make us happy too), though, I wish we did the 'bed-time story thing' (You know, where you had a story read to you till you fell asleep ~tears~) like in the movies. Still, I love my fairy-tale stories. I remember writing my own ever-after stories and wishing I was Barbie- how can I ever forget her?

As I grew older though, I was introduced to the world of Barney and friends, Voltron (One of my favourite action figure), and the Flintstones. Still yet, the world needed saving and man’s brilliant imaginations created action heroes like Spider Man, Green lantern, Captain America, Batman and Robin and News reporter-Clark Kent in superman.

I was hooked for a while to these action heroes but I kind of fell out of love with them  and in Love with Mulan (the Chinese warrior, it was my favourite cartoon for a while though), the Dalmatians (I guess there is a Crueller in our lives), Anastasia, Scooby Doo (World’s best dog), Pocahontas and John Smith and Pinky and the Brain (Are you thinking what I’m thinking?).

Right now, my love for cartoons isn’t lesser as it still tugs at the child in me even though it’s strange (My sister says so), I look forward to Symbiotic titans, laugh at Sponge Bob’s Jokes, and fascinated by Ben Tennesen in Ben 10. I think I watched all the cartoon movies created last year. It's that 'bad'.

Yup, still love me cartoons (watched tangled and puss-in-boots yesterday) and hope to create one (I'm a big advocate of you can do whatever you set your heart to do with God's help). Surprisingly, you will be amazed at what you can learn from them. In fact, people are asked cartoon-related questions on ‘who wants to be a millionaire’- your next million might depend on it.

So, why don’t you take time out to remember your childhood cartoony days?




Have a great monday...

Love you...


Mwahhh...

BRAVERY OR STUPIDITY

Hmm...I read on Sunday about this lone police officer in one of our troubled northern states who in a bid to 'would I call it, detonate a bomb and play the hero or just act out of sheer stupidity' bade our world bye-bye. 
Please watch and you'll understand better... I honestly don't know whether to laugh or just pity the family he left behind but Seriously what was he thinking???


Anti-Bomb Unit...Hero or Fool?


Anyways your pick...Bravery or stupidity???


L8rrr....


Mwahhh