HIM AND HER (2)

NOV 25TH-INTERNATIONAL DAY FOR THE 

ELIMINATION OF VIOLENCE AGAINST 

WOMEN

Hey Everyone,

I am so happy that the world is not silent on domestic violence, and a day is set aside to raise awareness on this.

Here’s why, I think:

·         Government figures show that an estimated 1.2 million women and 800,000 men are victims of domestic violence each year.

·         Worldwide, 40-70% of all female murder victims are killed by an intimate partner.

·         In no country in the world are women safe from this type of violence. 

·         Around the world at least one woman in every three has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Most often the abuser is a member of her own family.

 (Sources: UNIFEM, Amnesty USA, Stopvaw.org, findcounseling.com)
·         More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male.

Crazy right?

Honduran beauty queen, Maria Jose Alvarado, and her sister were recently murdered by her sister’s boyfriend.

My friend Tolu (not her real name) recently RAN out of her matrimonial home ‘cos her husband beats her. A friends friend opened up about how her husband dragged her out of the bathroom once, hitting her all the way.

The men aren’t left out. My boss told us this story of a neighbour who gets some thrashing from his wife. I still cringe at the thought of men actually being beaten by their wives or girlfriend.

But it’s real..so real 

I wonder though about the effects on kids. You know, seeing mom and dad fight every time and hit each other.

I also wonder as a single woman, if there are tell tale signs that someone you really like would one day become a monster or would cause your death. Dear God, please help.

Back in Uni, a girl who was being violated by a boyfriend actually made excuses for him, ‘I made him angry, that’s why he did it’, 'He said it wont happen again', ‘He loves me’...and I wonder, ‘If he loved you, would he hit you?’

Oh well...

I am of the opinion too that, domestic violence goes beyond the physical, it can be emotional too, where you get insulted and messed up inside...

My advice, if you notice it...Run..Pray, tell God.....Run for your dear life.

Not worth it at all... Don’t die emotionally or 

otherwise. You have your best life yet...

Will like your feedback...

Thanks for reading!!!!

Hugs.

(Note: all images used above are from google image. Thanks to all the contributing sites)

Source- UN website

HIM AND HER (1)

Hey Everyone :)

It’s heartbreaking what most relationships are like?

Source: Google Images

.................................................................................................

I saw him and her rush to the parked bus like other people. He entered first and then she did, bus driver catching breath and saying ‘Hold your 50 naira change ooo’, bus slowly filling up.

My daydream was stopped by the sound of bickering, their bickering.

Husband says: Sit well

Wife says: Leave me alone (and a long hiss)

...More scuffling, and insults, followed by a slap. He slapped her, right there on his lap.

Everyone turned back, I did too.

Wife was on husband, holding shirt and scratching his face. Husband was underneath wife, hitting and punching hard.

It was chaos in that tiny space. Some people tried separating him and her; some others screamed ‘Stop’, ‘Ejo’ ‘It’s Ok’, angry screams all of them.

‘Get down’, the driver ordered. She did. 

Her dark tiny muscular self stand at the door, shooting angry look at her husband, she kept saying ‘Idiot...we go fight today...Ugly man...Poor man’, she continued ‘Better come down or give me my own transport fare...useless man’.

Husband sits there angry.

N50.00, that’s what this is about? I wonder

‘Get in. I will pay for you’...someone offered.

She entered, and two men sit between him and her.

The person pays for her. She says her thanks and turned to her husband from her end of seat, ‘I hate you...Poor man...na me hold your destiny...everyone know say you be church rat...If you hit me again, I go kill you’ She was breathing heavily, ‘you think I will let you go after slapping me. You go see madness today’.

In her, I saw a woman who’s had her fill of battery, and leveraging on being outside to defend herself. Still, I see a woman who battered her husband emotionally.

In him, I see a weak man who thinks he is strong by beating his wife...who lacks the sense to never hit a person, a weak person.

But who am I to judge? I don’t even know them. I just met them.

Mom says ‘never wash your dirty linen in public’, well after seeing this, I agree with my mom.

People kept hushing her, but she didn’t stop. She insulted and threatened. He looked angry, red-eyed, and ready to pounce on her, if not for the 2 souls between them.

We get to a stop and as I alight from the bus, I stole a glance at him and her, both dishevelled, wounded in and out from their squabble, and I wonder, did they have kids? Did they live like this at home?  Was this some role play? Why did they fight? Did they love each other at one point in their life? And if yes, what changed it?

Sad thing is, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE is real...between ma and pa, boyfriend and girlfriend...the report got it right, the highest rate of domestic violence in the world are from intimate partners...those who are meant to love you.

It’s just too sad...

Source: Google Images

Stopping here for now...

(To be continued)

Ps: If you saw an act of domestic violence happening around you, what will you do?

Source: Youtube

Thanks so much for reading!
Share light always...

Hugs...

THE BIRTH OF MANY QUESTIONS......STOP!

Another bombing today in Borno....29 people killed. 29 precious lives gone.

The little girls abducted by this sect haven't been found.

More death stories....the village attacks, students killed at nights, sporadic shooting at daylight in the markets.....and more bombings again. It doesn't stop.

Or will it?

What is Boko Haram? Are they political machines, anti-religion sects or non-Nigerians?

What's their deal?

Who is backing them up or are they just an independent sect?

Where do they hide? Somewhere up north or out of Naija?

Why is their attack localised? Will it spread out in the future?

Who is to blame for their consistent attack- the Federal Government, Local Government or the Devil?

Why are there many solutions, many 'e-warriors' (as one friend puts it) proffering help and none seems to be implemented? 

Should we bomb the north like what was done in Bayelsa or Should we take the amnesty route like we did to end the MEND saga?

Why aren't we like the Ukrainians....protesting this masked evil? Why aren't there placards on Nigerian streets?

How can we prevent this from happening tomorrow?

Should we beg them? Does begging a 'mad man' help?

What is it like to live in Borno or Yobe or Kano or.......? :(

Are you afraid?

..............

Tolu shared this poem with me....

"When they bombed Eagle square,

We remained silent;

We were not politicians.

When they came for the police headquarters

and the military barracks,

We remained silent;

We were not policemen nor soldiers.

When they bombed the streets in Borno state

and turned the North-east into a battle zone,

We remained silent;

We were not Northerners

When they came for the defenseless market

women and burnt churches,

We did not speak out;

We were not traders and it wasn't our church

branch.

When they came for school children in their

beds, 

We remained silent; 

We didn't have kids in any of those schools.

We said let them kill themselves, its in their

own lands.

I hope they don't come for us,

Because then,there would be no one left to

speak out or any country left to speak out

for."

...................

When I read it, I asked Him, what we can do, and He said 'That's a million dollar question, cos every solution I think about leads to more questions', and I guess he's right.

................

This is heartbreaking!

I trust God to help us with this ache eventually...

Till then, maybe being an e-warrior can help. Atleast, it helps us empathize with our families up north.... :(

KEEP SPEAKING OUT. THIS HAS TO STOP!!!!

Source: Dailypost